A few weeks ago I shared five books for happy wedding planning. From DIY ideas to practical tips, each book offered something a little different. B one piece of advice that appeared time and again was this: let go of your expectations. Author of A Practical Wedding, Meg Keene, notes, “The hardest part about wedding planning is there is always a conflict between what we hoped would be and what is.” It’s hard to spend all that time planning and then not worry about the outcome. But happiness on your wedding day–just like every day–requires letting go. Happiness is letting go. How can you do this?

Here are 3 tips for letting go on your wedding day:

happiness is letting go

Keep perspective

In her book Priceless Weddings for Under $5,000, Kathleen Kennedy shares the story of a friend’s wedding. The florist delivered the wrong flowers on the day of her event, something sure to stress even the calmest bride. “At first she was irritated,” Kennedy remembers, “and then she decided that in the scheme of life and in relation to the importance of the day’s events, flowers were not worth getting upset about.”

At an event as complicated as a wedding, some things are just beyond your control. As Carley Roney notes in The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner, “…what you can control is how much you let it bother you.” Don’t forget that you’re surrounded by people who love you and who want to celebrate with you. Any disagreements with friends, family, or vendors can wait for another day; the big goal of this day is to get married. Even when things go wrong, there will be many other more important things that will go just right.

Don’t be a perfectionist

Even if some aspects of your day don’t go according to plan, Meg Keene reminds us that “the things that go wrong are what make the day yours.” So the best man’s speech is embarrassing, the cake is the wrong flavor, or your uncle drinks a little too much champagne–you’re making memories with your favorite person. And the most memorable moments are often those unpredictable events that you could never plan for!

Allow something better to happen

In A Practical Wedding, Clare Adama suggests that holding tight to your expectations may rob you of the actual magic of your day. If you expect it to happen “a certain way, you will be disappointed and often miss out on how brilliant and creative the reality is.”

Maybe the flower girl gets confused about scattering flowers and hands them to your guests, instead. (Adorable, right?) Or the groomsmen weren’t all supposed to share speeches, but they do and leave everyone in tears. Letting go allows things to unfold naturally, leaving space for happy moments you’ll never forget.

Of course you should make plans and work out your day’s details so it will go as smoothly as possible. But when things go wrong (as they always do), let go of your expectations and enjoy your wedding exactly as it is. You may find that those unexpected events make your day even happier than you could have imagined!

What other advice would you share to help the couple let go on their wedding day? Please share your thoughts!